Artist Statement:
It is a pilgrimage to know yourself. To see who was, who is, who will be. Each form opens as if a gate I could wander into, their lights glittering in deep recesses. Memories of soft girlhood, a misplaced tomboy, the sultry vixen. Selves well travelled, tempting with their familiarity. Roads I walked easily, convincingly.
But one door looms, brighter and hotter than the rest. I peer at the opening, greeted by the unexpected - someone unknown and unseen. A self untouched by expectation and obligation, free of the manipulations of the hundreds of people who left their handprints on me so deeply I could no longer see how much of me was even of my own shape or making. I can barely stand to look at him with how brightly he burns, his hands leaving light everywhere he touches. His voice whispers magic in the dark, siren songs of sorcery I dreamed so desperately of.
First I ignore him, then I actively reject him. I do not know these roads, could not see my future - no matter how blurry she felt off in the distance, I could somewhat make out her shape. How I wish I could walk all paths at once, all facets intersecting simultaneously in impossible multiplicity. But the body cannot contain me fully - I must choose, there is only one path I can take.
Stepping past the gate, I grieve. Here hot sun burns on my cheeks, blinding in every direction. I buried her there among the clouds with my own two hands, muttering eulogies to every future me that would never come to be. Only in this new form with its new futures do I finally understand his magic, the choice to become a gift of self-actualization so powerful it frightens at first.
It is not enough for me to merely take up what space is given. Instead, I split the sky into sanctums of my own, endless and expansive. I gleam with such intensity that to capture me is to glimpse the ever-changing sun, power buried so deeply that I did not know the depths of my multitudes until I finally made the journey wandering the space between what I thought I was and who I truly wanted. Becoming is my alchemy, of existing as many and all and none all at once until the elixir of self tastes just right for the day, the year, the decade.
Artist Bio:
Jay Stoneking is a queer, mixed Vietnamese-American visual artist and graphic novelist based in Seattle. Primarily self-taught, his creative practice touches traditional and digital mediums, design, and storytelling.
Raised a young girl in his immigrant, Vietnamese family, Jay draws deeply from his complicated relationship living between cultures and genders. He uses the physical ritual of creation to channel his love for magic and mysticism, weaving his own flavor of fantasy into art inspired by his mixed heritage and his journey to self-discovery.
Since starting his professional arts career in 2022, Jay has exhibited at galleries around Seattle, including Fathom Gallery, The Vestibule, Gallery110, and the Center on Contemporary Arts. He was awarded two temporary public art installations through Shunpike's Seattle Restored program, followed by a six month residency at the Seattle Restored Interactive Art Studio in downtown Seattle. His debut graphic novel, The Unbound Arcana, is an ongoing self-published digital series.